Underwear Etiquette: Going Out or Bottoms Up!

My group of guy friends and I go out a lot, at some points I think we live for the weekends. One of the guys has named our group “The Glitter”, which pretty much defines the group. At last count we roll ten deep, and are well on our way to having a reality show on Logo—then when ratings are high enough we will jump-ship to Bravo. Think Real Housewives of Atlanta mixed with the A-List and a whole lot of Sex and the City thrown in for good measure. I am the self proclaimed Carrie Bradshaw of the group. (However the other nine may argue that—watch for their comments below) I love my guys to death; I would give them an organ if they ever needed it, excluding my liver, something about all the vodka tells me it probably wouldn’t be of much use. I digress; there is an actual point to this post. I am known for judging hard, that’s probably indicative of why I review underwear as a hobby, and I am judging them for their underwear. I suppose judging one of them for his addiction to Taco Bell at 3:00 am would be more appropriate, but I’d much rather judge their boxers. Now don’t get me wrong, all nine of them aren’t guilty of bad choices in the underwear drawer; several of them actually have taste that I am envious of. The other night one of them pulls me aside at the bar “I found your blog yesterday” at that point I just started stuttering. (In my mind I just kept thinking “please say Simplicity, please say Simplicity (which is my personal blog) don’t say M.U.B.”) He replies with “I ordered so many pairs of underwear today” BUSTED! (at this point I had only told one of “The Glitter” about this blog, and it wasn’t him.) So now that “The Glitter” knows about me being a contributor to M.U.B. it has me thinking about what, in my opinion, one should wear when going out. As a group of single twenty-somethings no one really ever knows who is still going to have their pants on by the end of the night, so a good pair of underwear is imperative. Over the past couple weeks, and over many glasses of vodka I have put together my list of tips, anecdotes, and comments on what underwear are good to be found in after the sun sets on a weekend night.

1. 1) Skip the boxers. Period. End of Story. In my humble, and somewhat biased, opinion one should never wear boxers when drinking. Why, you may ask. My biggest reason is, well when you’re dancing (read grinding) you never know which direction your lil’ guy is gonna go, but I say things are only going up from here. So you need some support, or a lot of support. Wear something that is fitting to the body. Secondly boxers just aren’t sexy, personally seeing a guy in boxers is a huge turnoff. For me boxers are just downright uncomfortable to dance in, but for the love of God do not think I am giving you permission to go commando.  UMan adds: I agree.  One should really never wear boxers. 
2. 2) Wear dark colors. By wearing navy or black you minimize the appearance of sweat or spilled liquor on your undies. Every weekend you will find me religiously in a pair of black boxerbriefs. This rule goes hand in hand with number three.
3. 3) Keep it simple. Patterns are fun, colors are great, and by no means should you ever wear anything boring.
4. 4) Stay classy. You’re out, you’re meeting potential partners, friends, or dates, don’t scare them off by revealing the waistband of a jock strap or the string of a g-string when you “dip-it-low.” I personally am most comfortable taking my pants off in front of someone if I’m wearing a pair of boxerbriefs, but there is nothing wrong with a good pair of briefs. Just save the mesh, metallic, or studded undies for nights of sobriety. If you want to scare a potential partner off just strip down to a mesh thong or tuxedo patterned pair of boxers. Keep it classic and keep it classy and chances are it won’t be too hard to avoid going home alone at the end of the night. Look for a forthcoming post on these types of underwear… and exactly why the hell I have a box full of them.
5. 5) Go for quality. Hanes and Fruit of the Looms were good and well when we were kids, heck they are what I wore until I turned 14, but we’re all adults here, so unless you’re working in a field or digging a ditch wear something of quality. If you’re dancing/getting blackout drunk there is a good chance your waistband is going to show at some point, so dress to impress.
6. 6) Be original. No explanation needed.
7. 7) This one is my bonus type… If you plan on getting black-out, take your own bedding, it makes spending the night on the bathroom floor a whole lot more comfortable.

To make things even easier I have picked a few of my favorites for wearing out:

• 2xist Neon Trunk Black $24.00 from International Jock

• Ergowear MAX Premium Contrast Brief Black $22.00 from International Jock

• Calvin Klein Steel Micro Boxer Brief Antique Plum $26.00 from International Jock

• 2(x)ist Sliq Trunk in Hibiscus $24.00 from International Jock

So it is almost the weekend, and I hope you are going out at some point, but are you and your undies ready? If so, put a sexy pair on, go out, have a drink, have another, then have a vodka in my honor, (Ketel One) and have a damn good night. Bottoms Up!

…oh and don’t judge if you see “The Glitter” and me at Taco Bell… just blame it on the red head.

Underwear Answers: Wear What You Want!

I feel that many people struggle with choosing what style of underwear to wear.  They want to wear what's comfortable for them, but they also are worried that they'll be judged in the lockerroom, by an intimate relation, or a spouse.  I especially get many questions from teenagers in this situation.  They want to wear something other than what they wear, but they're not sure how to ask their mom or what their friends will think.  My advice?  Forget them.  Wear what you want.  After all, you're the one wearing it.  You should be comfortable.  Who cares what they think?  Below is a question from a teen reader via Formspring and my advice to him.  If you have any underwear related questions, feel free to ask me them via email or Formspring. 

I'm a teen guy and I wear boxers and hate them. Boxer briefs aren't much different.  I really want to switch to briefs but I'm too embarrassed to ask my mum any advice.

I feel like this is a problem that many teen guys have. I know I did when I was your age. Underwear should be about wearing what's comfortable for you. If you aren't happy with what you have you shouldn't have to wear them. Next time you're at the store, just say, "hey mom, I'd like to get some new underwear." and then instead of going for the boxers grab some briefs. She should be fine with it. She's not the one who has to wear them so you should get to wear what you want, not what she wants. And if that's not going to work with your mom, just go to the store and buy them yourself. You're a teenager, you're old enough to make your own decisions and choices. Your mom isn't going to be buying your undies for the rest of your life you know. If you're worried about her finding them in the laundry, then now would be a great time to start learning how to wash clothes. It will be good practice for college. Good luck!

Underwear Answers: What to Wear Under White Pants

A question that I am often asked during the summertime is what to wear under white pants to avoid visible lines. Personally, the only white pants that I have are white jeans so it's never really an issue for me as they are not see through. Today, I was asked the question again on Formspring. If you haven't checked out my Formspring yet, it's a great place to ask me questions about everything underwear.

Below is the question along with my answer:

I have some white pants and I'm looking for some flesh-tone boxer-briefs to wear under them (I'm a white guy). Any advice where these can be found? Do they even make them?? I'm having no luck!

Sloggi Trunks from the front.

It is a common misconception that one must wear flesh/nude colored underwear with white pants. This is not necessarily required. It depends on how tight the pants/shorts are. If they aren't too transparent you can get away with wearing other things.

Jameswinston Co. used to make some great flesh colored underwear, unfortunately the company is no longer in business so I'm not sure what their selection will be like. You might be able to find some remainders at other sites.

The key to underwear with white pants/shorts is actually the cut of the underwear, not the color. As long as you wear something that has a longer silhouette than the tight part of the pants (aka the butt) you should be fine. So I would recommend wearing boxerbriefs or trunks with your white pants (as you suggested). I personally tend to wear just a simple white boxerbrief (preferably with no seams on the butt). This makes it so that there are no "panty lines" since the only seams are lower on the thigh and therefore past where they are visible through the pants.

Depending on the thickness of the pants you may be able to get away with some other colors besides white. Do some experimenting (at home with a trusty mirror or friend) and see what it looks like.

Sloggi Trunks from behind.

Now if you're still set on wearing flesh colored underwear, Sloggi has a great selection of flesh colored underwear that you can find at DGU. It comes in both trunk and brief styles. The trunk is perfect for this purpose as it does not have any seams on the rear.

Also HOM makes a great flesh-colored trunk which might also be of interest to you.

As I said, however, you are not strictly limited to flesh colored underwear when wearing white pants. It really depends on the tightness of the pants and their transparency/thickness. Do some experimentation to see what works best with your white pants. Good luck!

Running out of Lines

Today we got a great question from one of our readers asking for some advice, here's a bit of what he wrote:

I've started jogging quite a bit lately and bought a few pairs of tights/spandex shorts and I've come to a realisation [sic] that most of these shorts or pants aren't really constructed to be worn without undergarments. But here's the thing, what do you really wear under something like that ? The only thing I seem to come up with is a thong... Should I be wearing a different size and go commando for better performance from what I'm wearing?...

Since I'm a runner myself I'll try to answer this one. Okay, so the main question here is what do you wear under these shorts. Let me start off by saying when I run I prefer a good running short like this one from aussieBum. One with a short length and plenty of leg movement. But if you prefer a compression type running short, you have several options in what to wear underneath, it all depends on what you want to show.

My first recommendation would be a slim jockstrap, I never go running without one on. Its best to go with one that has thin butt straps (I don't know if there is a technical name) and a slim waist band, try a swimmers jock, I find that they work great. I few weeks ago I reviewed the jock that I most often run in, and I think you'll find that the N2N will leave very few lines. Below are a few others that would work too:

• The Sheer Pocket Sling from N2N Bodywear, has no backstraps and is made of a sheer fabric so your junk will be able to breath. This one I found off their website N2NBodywear.com and has a great price of only $12.00 (US)

• WildmanT has designed the perfect Micro Jock, I haven't had a chance to try this one yet, but the design looks great and it looks to be perfect for wearing under tight clothing. This jock comes in great colors and defiantly won't show under your shorts. I found this one off of Wildmant.com this one is available in two styles, the original for $16.00 (US) and the laced for $18.00.
  

• My next style would be a g-string, a thong is going to cause some irritation when running. The great thing about a g-string is there will be no lines at all, and it will look as if you aren't wearing anything underneath.

• I guess you will notice I choose N2N stuff a lot, so once again, I would try the BT String from well N2Nbodywear.com. This suit has strings instead of fabric, as true G-Strings do, and the front pouch is made out of a great stretch fabric. This one I guarantee will not show any lines, and I'm willing to bet you'll even forget you're wearing anything underneath your shorts. I found this great pair at N2Nbodywear.com and they sell for a cool price of $13.00 (US)

• The Micro Sport Pouch, my final style of chose comes from Koalaswim.com, this is designed for the athletic person, and may be exactly what you are looking for. This piece is a small pouch that wrap around the dick and balls, to provide support and to conceal what you're packing below. I found this one at Koalaswim.com and it sells for $21.00 (US). This suit is also great for tanning.

So I hope that one of these will help you, and good luck in running, and please let me know if any of these help.

Underwear Answers (UA): Kilt thong

As you may or may not remember, a while back I started a series on UB called Underwear Answers. The purpose is to answer any questions readers have about underwear. Readers often send me questions via email and this is a good way for my answers to benefit all my readers who may have a similar question. This is the second installment of this series. Please, feel free to send me your questions and I will do my best to answer them.
Here's a question from Ryan:
First off, thank you for a good and useful blog. I am straight, but still enjoy feeling sexy in my underwear, and I appreciate your heads-up on new stuff.

I am getting married in August, and as a little wedding-night joke, I would like to find a kilt thong that I can wear to surprise my bride. Do you guys know of any good ones, and/or how to get one?

My response:
When I first received this question I was not sure what Ryan meant. But after doing a little Googling I found out exactly what he was talking about. I recommended that he check out this kilt thong at Skinz. The kilt thong comes in four different fabrics or you can have them make it from any fabric they have. They have a customer service line that can help you out with any questions. It should be noted that there is no pouch underneath the "kilt" section so it is not a very supportive style. It is simply a twin woven band frame that converges into a thong back. It sells for $19. Now I do not recommend this as every day underwear because it would bunch up under pants and probably would not be very comfortable or supportive. But for a wedding night joke (especially if you are Scottish) it is cute. Ryan contacted me a couple weeks after my response and told me: "I just wanted to share that I received my kilt thong today. It fits well and looks hot....The retailer is very easy to work with, and their stuff looks hot. I probably will order from them again."

So if you have any pressing underwear questions, send me an email (underwearblog@gmail.com) and I'll answer it on Underwear Answers.

Let's hear your opinion!

Hey guys. In earlier entries the blog used to get lots of comments and lots of great discussions on most of the entries. Recently that has not been the case, even though I know for sure that there are a lot more readers now than before. I really want to know what your opinions are on things that are discussed here, even if your comment doesn't totally fit the entry, just post it. I really want to see some good discussions going.

And guess what... there is going to be a great incentive in the near future for those who write comments, so start commenting now!


Also, I really would like to continue the Underwear Answers series, so please send me your questions, I'm sure you must have some. underwearblog@gmail.com

Underwear Answers (UA): premier installment

Lots of people read this blog, men and women, gay and straight, there is a very wide variety of readers. Not everyone is as informed about everything underwear as others. This is meant to be an informative blog. Thus, today I have decided to launch a new segment called "Underwear Answers". I receive many questions by email about underwear etiquette and problems. Instead of just benefiting the asker I think it's a great idea for everyone to be able to read the questions and the answers. So here is the first one.

Question: "My husband is trying to find a way to tuck his shirt into boxers without them sticking out the top of his trousers... how do you get the shirt tight like if you tucked them into briefs?"
Asker: Bridget
Category: Underwear Etiquette
Answer: OK... so here's how it should go. He should not tuck in the outside layer (the shirt that everyone sees) into the underwear. If he is wearing an undershirt it is acceptable to tuck the undershirt into the underwear. Put on the undershirt first and then pull on the underwear over it. Now he can put on the overshirt and then pull on the pants over those. If there is no undershirt involved he should put on the underwear, then the shirt and then pull on the pants over the shirt (and the shirt should remain in between the pants and the underwear, NOT IN the undies).

I think this is a fun idea that could potentially help a lot of people. So send your questions my way (my email is listed in the sidebar) and I will attempt to answer them to the best of my knowledge.