Saturday, November 17, 2012

Brief Boys Review Calvin Klein


Panel Stripe Hip Brief
Calvin Klein
Avg. $24 US


Brief Boys Mitchell and Patton give the run down on the Panel Stripe Hip Brief from Calvin Klein, “a comfortable, supportive, and enhanced fit made from 95% cotton and 5% elastane.”

Patton: What exactly is elastane?

Mitchell: Apparently it’s just another name for Spandex. At least according to Wikipedia.

P: Fancy.

M: So everybody knows Calvin Klein. They call themselves pioneers of the “wholesome underwear look.” It’s pretty safe design, but good design—very well made, very durable. If you’re looking for something relatively basic, it’s an appealing brand.

P: Basic, but not totally conservative. They’re low rise—but not ultra-low rise—and fit snugly under a pair of jeans. They even have an extra seam for each cheek that more or less works like a jockstrap, lifting and providing a little more definition than the average brief.

M: Really? I didn’t think it was very flattering. It kind of reminded me of wearing a diaper. Not that I’ve done that recently.

P: Of course not.

M: I do think they’re true to size, like all other CK products I’ve tried, but they have a generous amount of stretch, which makes them prone to sagging now and then.

P: I guess it depends on your preference—sometimes a little extra stretch can prevent a brief from ending up in your ass crack. But it can also bunch up under your junk.

M: There is that. From the wrong angle they sometimes have a weird camel toe thing going on.

P: You mean moose knuckle?

M: My mistake.

P: Plenty of room for the whole kit and caboodle, though. However, while there’s a spacious pouch, the fabric’s elasticity gives that weird pointy effect—where your junk looks like a cone aimed at the floor. But at least these are versatile for all package preferences. Whether you stash it to the left, right, or over the balls, you’re good to go.

M: What do you mean stash it?

P: When not in use.

M: Of course. You’re right though. While it’s not something to be ashamed of, the CK Hip Brief is definitely more about comfort than appearance. The pouch isn’t as shaped as others, nor is it as flattering. But you can go through a whole day at work without that trapped, suffocated feeling you sometimes get with a brief, and the tag is barely noticeable.

P: Ugh. The tag—I always try to buy tagless. But yeah, this wasn’t that big of a deal, which is surprising. Overall, though, I agree with you. Aside from the fun stripes—including the matching waistband—these are everyday, wear-to-work briefs.

M: But still stylish enough to be seen at the gym.

P: Precisely.

M: So would you recommend them?

P: Well, I tend to work a long day. I get dressed somewhere between six and six-thirty, go through a nine-hour work day, and don’t really end up in PJs until eleven or so. The only… let’s call it recess I get in all that time is while I’m at the gym. There aren’t many briefs that stay comfortable during an entire 21st Century day, but these do.

M: I agree. You should probably change before you head out for drinks, though, or any other special occasions.

P: Undressing occasions, for sure. So how about the score?

M: Here’s what we came up with:

 FIT Good
 COMFORT /  Excellent
 STYLE /  Poor
 QUALITY /  Excellent
 VALUE /  Average

 BOTTOM LINE /  Embodies today’s basic fit. Extremely comfortable, but not the sexiest pair around.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great review, I like the tag-team format and the score looks spot on.

JayToday said...

GREAT format!
Really smart points made as well
Really looking forward to more of these