Sunday, December 05, 2010

Underwear Prose: Wikileaks Exposed, Like Mens Silk Sheer Underwear

Unloading classified men’s sheer underwear into the hands of our allies’ subsequently revealed what lies beneath the austere facade of diplomats.

The Wikileaks dump exposed the bare facts of foreign affairs and required a glib tongue by America’s diplomats and negotiations as smooth as the silk underwear they wore beneath their suits.
Behind closed doors, the conversation lingered into the night showing cracks in the tighty whitey foreign contingency where they shouldn’t be seen. The strain in relations was evident between the tighty whitey band of diplomats, who were high strung and cranky, while their counterparts clad in silky men’s sheers, were always in their comfort zone. At one point, Hillary stepped out of the room to allow the silk clad diplomats to brief the tighty whitey crew on the benefits of being comfortable in their skin.

For the bearers of men’s silk underwear, the long meetings ran without an adjustment or a hitch. The opposite was true for the tighty whitey crew with sweat-stained shirts and dripping brows. They couldn’t seem to find peace in their briefs or in the Middle East. They squirmed and swiveled in their seats, changing positions often while the ambassadors of men’s silk stayed the course.

Damage control efforts were successful. The tighty whitey diplomats saw the superficiality of the Wikileaks. Nothing bobbed to the surface about their subterranean missiles stashed away in secret pouch location points. Only their credit card numbers found their way onto the Intertubes with a salacious hit list of expensive self-indulgent gifts, such vices such as two hundred dollar bottles of the world’s finest champagnes and exquisite gold Chantilly Lace bags filled with chocolate covered nuts.

It seems the Wikileaks site was eradicated from the universe, as the Wikileaks founder is on the run, escaping in a silk suit and tighty whitey underpants. His biggest mistake of all. He’ll be easy to find. Security won’t need a full body scan to see the lines beneath his pants.

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